Requirements for 11th Degree Black Belt

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Requirements for 11th Degree Black Belt, Cicak-Ryu

(Master of Karate, Lord of the Universe… All Hail Thee!)

Well before testing for this rank any experienced Karate Sensei should have already learned these basic techniques:

Escape from Dojo

the quick exit to avoid clean up and helping with the mats.

Sleeper Stance

standing at the corner of the dojo pretending to be observing the students as they sweat with exhaustion.

Sigh of Wisdom

sudden, forceful exhalation when a beginning student unexpectedly survives a dangerous body slam without injury.

Crossing Fingers

a hopeful posture used when uke has been choked unconscious.

Gift of Instruction

the act of taking credit whenever a student wins a tournament or performs a technique correctly.

Seeing Without Seeing

the dazed look of amazement given to the student who asks a stupid question.

Kuchi Waza (mouth technique)

using an hour of class time to answer the stupid question while students sit on their knees in seiza.

Mugger’s Defense

offering to lighten the student’s wallet to reduce the risk of confrontation.

Sensei’s Downfall

failing to ask for enough money to keep the dojo open.

Further requirements:

· Must be able to walk on water (while it is in liquid form).

· Must be able to disable a man using only a Kleenex tissue as a weapon.

· Must be able to make up meaningless Zen koans on the spot.

· Must be able to catch a fly with chopsticks.

· Must be able to defeat multiple masked ninja movie warriors after they disclose their evil plans to you and leave you to die in an easily escapable situation.

· Must be able to voice over a Godzilla movie properly (i.e. coordination between the movement of the lips and the voice).

· Must be able to take a bullet (not in the chest of course but maybe in the foot or something).

· Must be able to make your own nuclear device with a piece of bubble gum, a pencil, some coconuts, and an alarm clock.

· Must be able to change into a karate-gi in a phone booth at any given moment.

· Must be able to sing Karaoke.

· Must be able to use nature to your advantage (e.g. sick a dog on the enemy, throw stones at him, climb a tree and hide…)

· Must be able to fight blindfolded and win (against blind competitors of course).

· Must have completed a course in “Basic Samurai Sushi”.

· Must be able to choreograph street fights for Jackie Chan movies.

· Must be able to use an opponent’s skill as a reason for defeat.

· Must be able to keep all bleeding internal.

· Must be able to trim an entire forest into a bonsai garden in 25 minutes or less.

Note: Laughing at any time will disqualify the potential 11th dan. If a member of the Senior Board of Examiners makes a comment and then waits expectantly, it may be an indication that he has just made a joke. A half-smile may be tried at this time, but in no other instance. If you are not quite ready for 11th degree black belt take your 10th Kyu test now.

IF YOU FEEL THAT YOU QUALIFIED FOR 11TH DAN,

CLICK HERE

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6 responses to “Requirements for 11th Degree Black Belt

  1. I have read and seen transcript of William Chow declaring himself a 15th degree black belt. Most of the senior masters are black belts. The highest degree awarded by Funkoshi Gichin was 5th degree. My question is what is the minimum requirement for black belt? If a street lochinwar beats a grand master senselessly can he be awarded super grandmastership? if an academician beats a zen master in an argument can he be called enlightened?
    Why this ranking-black belts etc, if you we can not fight any body and win? on the other hand Why this ranking-black belts etc, if you we can fight any body and win?
    My decree is simple and stupid. Learn as if that is your last chance to learn. Fight as if it is your last chance to live. Kill (not just win) your opponent before you fight. Live simple life. Always live with less than available.

  2. Hi Curios25thdegreewhitebelt,
    Now your screen name would be a challenge for any ‘Master’ to squeeze onto a certificate… LOL…
    All jokes aside… this ‘how many degree black belt are you?’ question is just… lame.. and plain silly. Yes, I agree with you… always live with less than available. Funakoshi Sensei only awarded 5th Dan, and even then only to a select few. One of the few that still follows the old ways is Ohshima Sensei of SKA.
    I think the increase in the number of degrees were advocated because of the number of ‘black belts’ the martial arts world is producing. The hunger for higher and higher belt rankings does not sate the thirst for those on the hunt for belts for their vanity wall. There are a few very good fighters and teachers who remain a humble 3rd 4th or 5th degree. There is even one full contact world champion who seems content to be a brown belt. Old school martial arts have no real ranking system. The only way you know you’ve moved up a notch was by the lesser amount of tedious chores you have to do at the dojo (the old system, all, if not most students were uechi-deshi or live-in students) and that you get to help out teaching the junior students. That use to be the only acknowledgement that you’ve moved up the ranks. Sadly, that is system has become extinct. Teachers feel obliged to upgrade students becayse nowadays they “pay” fees. They are afraid to lose students to other schools who will ‘upgrade’ these students. Even Silat, a traditional Malay martial art has changed in that sense. When I started training silat in 1986, there was only 3 belts, red, yellow and white. Nowadays they are as grades many as karate/TKD, and some schools aven wear the karate/TKD belts.
    My personal experience, I have been offered a 3rd Dan if I’d change affiliation and represent them in my home state. Frankly, I was tempted. But not enough to succumb to it. My martial arts experience has not been an easy one. I freely admit that I have not been an ideal student in the past. But now that I’ve matured, hopefully I at least meet my teachers’ standards if not exceed.
    The belts are just pieces of cloth to hold up your pants anyway. Some friends of mine chose to buy expensive Japanese ‘Armani-quality’ silk belts for their out of shape waist. And some others, make do with with plain cotton ones that last a lot longer than the ‘Armanis’. One friend, that I take my hat off too, even to this day, has not bought even a belt. He is a 3rd Dan, and still wears the belt that his teacher gave to him when he was awarded 1st Dan. And that was some 12 years ago.
    There will always be those that chase belts and certificates. You can identify them by the loooonnnngggg list of black belts that they claim to be qualified in. And then there are those that chose to concentrate on constant up-grading of training rather than on up-grading of ranking. Hopefully I’m the former rather than the latter. IMHO, belts awarded for higher than 5th Dan or degree or whatever, is more for contribution to the ‘Art’ rather than a scale of technical skill. To each his own.
    As for me, I am content to answer anyone who asks me ‘What degree black belt are you?’ that I am a shodan. If they are not impressed by my lack of degrees, that’s fine by me, and they are free to choose a 30 year old 6th degree black belt somewhere else. Just beware that they do not step into a McDojo and get a McValue Belt for $999.99
    Gambatte Kudasai.

  3. Sadly, no. It has been a while since i did silat. My aliran was silat sendeng. I studied under the late Tn Hj Abd Hamid Hamzah. At the time I studied under him, I was unaware of his role in Silat Sendeng. To me, he was just my guru silat. If I’d known then what I know now, I would’ve continued studying under him. How about you? What MA are you training?

  4. I have studied different styles in search of the holygrail(!!). I have advanced gradings in taekwon do (ITF), Karate (an off shoot of isshin ryu), Muay thai and Arnis cinco terro. I was interested in silat and krabi krabong, but due to my pre occupations i stopped my search, settled in Arnis. I do private training for select few on a pain-as-fee basis. Nice communicating with you. Let us keep in touch.

  5. Pain-as-fee… hhhmmm… interesting concept… delicious!!! Likewise in my search of the true martial arts, I too have tried a few, and my journey have made me decide on karate as my core training. This I find to be true in my search, many claimed to be the ultimate, but fall short of adequate. Many yet claimed to hold the secret, yet are barely learning. I am but a student, I learn from my teachers, from my betters, and from my students. My students, perhaps taught me the most important lesson, be humble, and be true to myself. I would love to continue to exchange ideas and to hear your thoughts on training and martial arts. We can either here, so that the lessons can be shared by all, or if you prefer, in private communication (e-mail). I believe that thru this site you know who I am, where I’m from and what I do (or at least try to do). Maybe you can share a little bit of yourself (your name and where you’re from)?!? 🙂

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